Shop Official Merch

Description: Consider this a public service announcement for the "overly affectionate." I’m not a golden retriever, and I’m definitely not a museum exhibit. Look, but don’t touch—unless you want to find out exactly how "not friendly" I can get. Consider the face a restricted zone. Permanent entry denied.

Description: Modern life is messy. Being overwhelmed while still maintaining a certain sense of humor takes someone special. And you are that someone special!

Description: Unwavering resolve, a bold manifesto for those who choose to sever ties with a limiting past to forge a more authentic future. We can find strength in closure and the bright potential of an uncompromising new direction.

Description: A dialogue between a hopeful kid and a nurse who has clearly spent too much time on the clock. It’s the perfect joke for those who prefer their humor pitch black.

Description: Kind words from the bottom of your heart. Very inspiring and full of wisdom.

Description: For when your presence alone is a difficult encounter and your social battery has been replaced by a desire for calculated chaos. This design serves as a public service announcement for those who mistakenly believe your honesty is a performance.

Description: People really need to learn how to read the room. Or read between the lines. But no matter how hard you try, they think that you're just joking. Ahhh, you just can't win.

Description: People really need to learn how to read the room. Or read between the lines. But no matter how hard you try, they think that you're just joking. Ahhh, you just can't win.

Description: When you’re such a challenge that even the professionals throw in the towel. It’s the perfect apparel for anyone who finds humor in their own chaotic journey.

Description: When you’re such a challenge that even the professionals throw in the towel. It’s the perfect apparel for anyone who finds humor in their own chaotic journey.

Description: For those days when your patience is wearing thin and the law is the only thing keeping things civil.

Description: Embrace your inner introvert with this witty, vintage-inspired design. Featuring a bold, distressed typeface and elegant script, it delivers a clear message: some things—and some people—are just better left to their own devices. Perfect for those who value their personal space and a good sense of humor.

Description: We’ve all been there: the "urgent" 4:55 PM emails, the "we’re a family" speeches, and the inevitable disappointment of a missed promotion or a botched project. This hand-illustrated design is for everyone who has spent a forty-hour work week being let down by the higher-ups. Featuring original, shaky-ink lettering and a defiant "final word" from the grave, it’s the perfect attire for your next (and last) Zoom meeting. Designed by Marty (DBM). Human-made, corporate-broken."

Description: We’ve all been there: the "urgent" 4:55 PM emails, the "we’re a family" speeches, and the inevitable disappointment of a missed promotion or a botched project. This hand-illustrated design is for everyone who has spent a forty-hour work week being let down by the higher-ups. Featuring original, shaky-ink lettering and a defiant "final word" from the grave, it’s the perfect attire for your next (and last) Zoom meeting. Designed by Marty (DBM). Human-made, corporate-broken.

Description: An edgy, minimalist line-art tribute to the man who gave his all to his art—and apparently had very little left for everyone else. This design captures Vincent van Gogh in a rare moment of modern defiance, blending classical portraiture with a blunt, unapologetic sentiment. Perfect for the misunderstood soul, the tortured artist, or anyone who values artistic expression as much as they value being left alone.

Description: An edgy, minimalist line-art tribute to the man who gave his all to his art—and apparently had very little left for everyone else. This design captures Vincent van Gogh in a rare moment of modern defiance, blending classical portraiture with a blunt, unapologetic sentiment. Perfect for the misunderstood soul, the tortured artist, or anyone who values artistic expression as much as they value being left alone.

Description: We’ve all been there—you start with a plan, a straight line, a vision of productivity, and then… this happens. This design is for the overthinkers, the "organized chaos" enthusiasts, and anyone whose internal hard drive is currently making a clicking sound.

Description: Pros: That one minute of feeling rich. Cons: Everything else. Rating: 0/5 stars. Total scam.

Description: This takes your favorite childhood "no worries" motto and gives it a much-needed reality check. Unapologetically blunt, it’s the perfect uniform for anyone who has officially run out of ducks to give and is ready to watch the chaos unfold in style. Watch it BURN!

Description: Who says humans and apex predators can’t hang? Who knows what will happen after the fun. Unlikely friendship? You bet!

Description: Just the tee you need to just lay your head on your desk and sleep on work time. Because you don't care. And probably won't tomorrow too.

Description: A public service announcement for the self-sufficient. For those who have a very stict VIP list that only includes themselves. Yep, isolation is a positive lifestyle choice. Don't want to go to that party? Well this is a landslide victory for personal space.

Description: Even a global apocalypse needs a scheduled 15-minute break. Just depends whose paying the tab. I guess middle-earth will pay for it because these mortal enemies are not going to agree, especially after having a few shots. Sh*ts about to get wild

Description: This design captures the essence of the witty retort, perfectly summarizing the preference for verbal sparring over physical conflict. It's a bold statement piece for the sarcastic and the sharp-tongued.

Description: This powerful black-and-white graphic visualizes Fyodor Dostoevsky's critique of excessive self-awareness and rumination, stemming from his novel Notes from Underground. The design captures the chaotic feeling of being trapped by one's own thoughts through stark symbolism.

Description: This high-contrast, black-and-white graphic embodies the powerful Stoic concept of Memento Mori—a reminder of the universality of death that encourages a purposeful life. The design features a stark, grinning skull emerging from a backdrop of chaotic, dripping ink splatters, blending an edgy, grunge aesthetic with deep philosophical meaning.

Description: This design captures the essence of rebirth through destruction, channeling an intense, edgy aesthetic perfect for those who embrace strength found in adversity.

Description: Stacked, distressed, and dripping attitude—this triple rejection slams the door on bad days. Your instant "not happening" armor.

Description: Admit it—this chaotic splash of retro color owns the spotlight. Your ego boost in vibrant, unmissable style.

Description: A skeleton hand clawing from the void says what words won't. Your "all good" survival badge for when life's got you six feet under.

Description: Vintage sass meets savage truth.

Description: This distressed stamp screams the lie bosses love: quick fixes for endless messes. Perfect for calling bs on rushed deadlines.

Description: Normal. The word they use when conformity gets a participation trophy. This design's your middle finger to it—battered, bold, and unapologetic.

Description: Face-melting, paint-peeling, sensless meetings that should have been an email. A slogan for those that feel the pain.

Description: Don't just live it, wear it. It's not procrastinating, it's being strategic..

Description: This adorable 8bit kawaii hamster seeks to safeguard your valuable property. Also, it likes to call you out.